Did you see the solar eclipse on Monday? I went to a park and saw it through this colander. Can you see the little crescents?
Depending on how much of an astrology nerd you are, you may know that Chiron, the wounded healer, was exactly conjunct the sun and the moon during the eclipse, so this new beginning we’re experiencing is directly connected to our deepest wounds.
There’s also a Chiron-Mercury conjunction coming up on Monday, so we’ll be thinking about the places we’re wounded and hopefully doing some important healing.
Being a Gemini, aka a non-stop thinker, I wondered what this wound activation would mean for me. Of course, I hoped it would be related to growing my business through excavating my wounds.
No such luck.
Two days after the eclipse, I took my goldendoodle Kumba to the vet. He’s been wheezing and breathing weirdly and I felt some swelling in his neck, so I thought he might have a wound or an obstruction there.
No such luck.
The vet did an ultrasound of his throat and didn’t find anything. But she said his lymph nodes felt inflamed, so she took a sample to see if he might have lymphoma, a type of cancer common in golden retrievers.
When she said it was likely that he has lymphoma, I immediately started crying.
My dog Kaia died at age 7 of lymphoma. The two months leading up to her death were incredibly traumatizing for me. And here I was, 5 years later, with another young pup potentially having lymphoma.
I paid the vet’s assistant, barely holding myself together, and then I sat in my car and cried uncontrollably. This was more than crying – it was cry screaming.
All of the woundedness I experienced with Kaia came up. I relived the despair I experienced bringing her from one specialist to another, just hoping someone could help prolong her life, and being told that it was too late to do anything for her.
I loved her SO MUCH. I did everything I possibly could for her. And I still lost her.
I knew I would have to say goodbye to Kumba at some point, but I’m not ready. And I don’t even know what his trajectory will look like.
I am a mess.
This pain isn’t just from what’s happening with Kumba. This is Chiron pain – pain from a deep wound. Past pain. Remembered pain. Compounded grief.
I tell my astrology clients that their Chiron wounds are the places where they are the most powerful. And I know that I am a better astrologer and tarot reader because of my own wounds. The wounds make me a more compassionate, deeper, more loving person.
But DAMN. This hurts. It’s reminding me that part of Chiron, the wounded healer, is the WOUND. I hate that. I only want the healing part.
So this week, let’s do a tarot pull for our wounds, because we all have Chiron in our birth charts. Let’s pull a card to speak to the part of us that wants to cry-scream in the car.
I hope you pulled the exact card you needed right now. . And please send Kumba and me all of the love and prayers you can.
By Daniela
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